new baby

Best Hilarious Facebook Status In English

The statuses that reflect the funny, wild thoughts of a person are said to be the hilarious statuses. These statuses are much more amusing than the typical funny quotes, as they stun others with wild thoughts and acts. These statuses are available on the internet on different websites for the people from around the world. They are often see written by professional individuals who are the pro in making people laugh. These statuses can be cracked anytime, anywhere among your friends, on social media or text messages. Sharing these quotes with the people increase your relationship with them.  The happiness factor matters a lot. Moreover, these hilarious statuses often become the reason to smile for most of the people. Besides that, they often teach you the lessons of life, which no one can teach. The words speak, where actions don’t!

You might have seen people posting hilarious statuses like the funny, wild thoughts on the social media like Facebook; they have a strong effect on the audience. Even if you are upset about something, these hilarious statuses might help you bring your smile back. Below written are some of the hilarious statuses that you might need to share with your friends and family.

angry baby

Top 10 Hilarious Facebook Statuses and Quotes

  • 1: ) Telling someone that you’re going to bed, When you’re actually not, and then having to hold back from posting things on Facebook.
  • 2: ) “Was that lightning?!” “No, they’re taking pictures for Google earth…”
  • 3: ) when a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.:D
  • 4: ) Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make you apologize when she is the one who is clearly in the wrong.
  • 5: ) I thought I lost one of my toes but upon closer inspection, there was a note that said “Went to Market”
  • 6: ) When I order coffee or whatever from starbucks and they ask me for my name I like to look at their name tag and then just say their name and then they’re always like nooo wayyy that’s my name too and then I’m also like noo wayyy and I always expect them to give me something for free because we have the same name but they never do
  • 7: ) THERE are people who can’t spell. THEY’RE uneducated. It may not be THEIR fault. YOUR grammar sucks. YOU’RE welcome.
  • 8: ) I hate it when I’m being taken seriously at the wrong time.
  • 9: ) I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong
  • 10: ) Those “Speed Enforced by Aircraft” signs don’t understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.

You May Also Be Check : Funny Status and Quotes

Best Hilarious Facebook Statuses and Quotes

11: ) I’m wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me.

12: ) I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

13: ) Sweet Jesus Christ. If I send you a text it’s because I don’t WANT you to call me.

14: ) Hell is having ADD with OCD. Not only are you distracted by all the shiny things, you have to make sure they are spotless.

15: ) I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff in my life, but at least I’ve never signed up for the gym in January.

16: ) Just saw my ex-girlfriend at Starbucks. The dude she was with looked exactly like I did when I was dating her. Miserable.

17: ) If I had a chainsaw, that would be my answer to everything.

18: ) Looking at people’s mutual friends and saying “OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM”

19: ) That awkward moment when someone *Likes* One of your Very old Facebook statuses and you think “Creeper”.

20: ) I bet the person who invented lunges was really just some dude adjusting his sack.

21: ) Hide yo kids, hide yo wife.

22: ) AATCHOO! …….?(-??~•~)?……. If you`re allergic to bullshit, drama, liars, and 2-faced people, LIKE to keep this sneeze going.

23: ) m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to bang the hell out of her.

24: ) Did you Know that In 2013, you can reuse calendars from 2002, 1991, 1985, 1974, 1963, 1957, 1946, 1935, 1929, and 1918? Now you know it.

25: ) For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember.. that’s where the knives are kept.

26: ) If optimists were truly optimistic they wouldn’t see the rest of us as pessimists.

27: ) Guy getting on elevator in my office building..” Going Down?” Me: “No, but I’ve got time for a hug.”

28: ) I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

29: ) Talk to me long enough and you’ll realize why I’m single.

30: ) My doctor is getting REALLY tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for m

31: ) If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old.

32: ) Want to get a drink? Later: How about now? Later. Now? Later. Now? –If the Windows Auto Updates pop up was your friend.

33: ) I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.

34: ) Is On The Toilet (>_<) (o_o) (0_0) ~ (^_^) Ahhhhhhhh That`s Better.

35: ) I wish you could see me smile through these binoculars. I think you’d change your mind about the extra security you installed to keep me away.

36: ) Some of my friends are like a slinky – completely useless, but fun to push down stairs.

37: ) The best feature of the iPhone is the feature that keeps you from getting pushed in the pool.

38: ) If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids, why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?

39: ) We’re adults? When did that happen and how do we make it stop?

40: ) Apparently, when people say “I could use a hand” it doesn’t mean they want to get slapped in the face.

41: ) My warning label would simply read: Take me regularly. In case of overdose, enjoy.

42: ) I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

43: ) I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.

44: ) I was trying to make a sandwich. But I’m all out of vodka.

45: ) LIKE if you have that one friend that Laughs at everything. Even when it’s not funny.

Read more : Status and Quotes For Whastapp

Facebook Comments