Being funny sometimes is necessary to keep our mind fresh and active towards positive thoughts. In fact, to make someone smile as well.
Just even a funny status update can make a great difference because you’ll read it first and will be pleased and then everyone else who ever will read it as your status.
Ultimately, being funny and sharing funny stuff with others can make you and everyone happy in the circle. So here we have brought you a list of 200+ Excellent Funny Status Of 2016. The whole list is unique and surely you won’t stop laughing as you scroll down and g through. Haha! Have fun!
Top Ten Funny Facebook Statuses and Quotes
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it…
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- AFTER GETTING DRUNK, BACHELOR OF TECHNOLOGY TURNS INTO MASTER OF PHILOSOPHY.
- EVERYBODY WISHES THEY COULD GO TO HEAVEN BUT NO ONE WANTS TO DIE.
- DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW.
- I wasn’t lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth
- Problem with this generation is we first search for a Lover & then fall in Love.
- I’m smiling. This should scare you.
- Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
- Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them…
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100 Funny Facebook Status and Quotes :
1. ) IF YOU CAN’T CONVINCE THEM, CONFUSE THEM.
2. ) DON’T THINK OF YOURSELF AS AN UGLY PERSON, THINK OF YOURSELF AS A BEAUTIFUL MONKEY. IT ALWAYS GETS LAUGHS!
3. ) NEVER GO TO BED MAD. STAY UP AND FIGHT.
4. ) There is no “me” in team. No, wait, yes there is!
5. ) 80% OF BOYS HAVE GIRLFRIENDS.. REST 20% ARE HAVING BRAIN.
6. ) Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.
7. ) I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting.
8. ) I RAN INTO MY EX TODAY…PUT IT IN REVERSE AND DID IT AGAIN!!!
9. ) If a stranger offers you a piece of candy…take two…
10. ) I wonder where my brother is, his lunch is getting all cold … … … and eaten… 😛
11. ) formula for success…….under promise and over deliver…….
12. ) I don’t get older, I level up.
13. ) DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY, YOU WON’T GET OUT OF IT ALIVE.
14. ) IN VICTORY, YOU DESERVE CHAMPAGNE. IN DEFEAT YOU NEED IT.
15. ) They say we learn from our mistakes; so I m making as many as possible!!!Soon I will be a genius :-B
16. ) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
17. ) I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
18. ) I can see you checking my whatsapp status
19. ) May god bless you, sick and shameful life.
20. ) NEVER ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT THEY’LL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL AND BEAT YOU THROUGH EXPERIENCE.
21. ) HEY,YOU ARE READING MY STATUS AGAIN??
22. ) SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.
23. ) I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
24. ) CONGRATULATIONS!!MY TALLEST FINGER WANT TO GIVE YOU A STANDING OVATION. 😛
25. ) Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
26. ) I’M JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE UNIVERSE.
27. ) DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW.
28. ) I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY ?
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29. ) 1F YOU C4N R34D 7H15, YOU R34LLY N33D 2 G37 L41D.
30. ) NEVER JUDGE SOMEONE UNTIL YOU WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES. BY THAT TIME, THEY’LL BE A MILE AWAY AND BAREFOOT.
31. ) My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
32. ) I’m a prince in Lagos, Nigeria and I want you to help me move $500 million out of the country.
33. ) Hello madam, do you want Credit Card? Girl: No thanks, I have a Boyfriend.
34. ) My IQ came back negative 😛
35. ) Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’
36. ) AWESOME ENDS WITH ME AND UGLY STARTS WITH U.
37. ) I’M AN EXCELLENT HOUSEKEEPER..EVERY TIME I GET DIVORCE I KEEP THE HOUSE ;- )
38. ) My ex had one very annoying habit – BREATHING
39. ) LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND…THAT’S WHY PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL THEY SPEAK.
40. ) It takes patience to listen.. it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
41. ) A WOMAN BROKE UP WITH ME AND SENT ME PICTURES OF HER AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND IN BED TOGETHER. SOLUTION?? I SENT THEM TO HER DAD. ??
42. ) Life is like ice cream, enjoy it before it melts.
43. ) People say that laughter is the best medicine…my face must be curing the world!
44. ) One more password got married…!!
45. ) A Good Date ends with Dinner. An Awesome Date ends with Breakfast
46. ) THE ONLY TIME SUCCESS COMES BEFORE WORK IS IN DICTIONARY.
47. ) The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
48. ) IF YOU CAN’T GET SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR HEAD, .. THEN MAYBE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. <3
49. ) GO TO HEAVEN FOR THE CLIMATE, HELL FOR THE COMPANY.
50. ) I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
51. ) SOME PEOPLE SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AT ENGINEERING( OR MEDICAL) ………I HAVE.
52. ) WE MEN WANT THE SAME THING FROM WOMEN THAT WE WANT FROM UNDERWEAR.SOME SUPPORT AND SOME FREEDOM.
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53. ) WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK.
54. ) ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE. UNLESS YOU’RE A SERIAL KILLER.
55. ) Sometimes if your best friend is in love with someone, start finding love. Or a new best friend.
56. ) Galileo:Great mind…Einstein:genius mind…Newton:Extraordinary mind….Bill gates:brilliant
57. ) NEVER JUDGE SOMEONE UNTIL YOU WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES. BY THAT TIME, THEY’LL BE A MILE AWAY AND BAREFOOT.
58. ) I’m not sarcastic, I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.
59. ) WHENEVER I FIND THE KEY TO SUCCESS, SOMEONE CHANGES THE LOCK.
60. ) LIFE IS SHORT…SMILE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE TEETH.
61. ) A BOOK-STORE IS ONLY PIECES OF EVIDENCE WE HAVE THAT PEOPLE ARE STILL THINKING.
62. ) Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
63. ) I HAD TO TAKE SICK DAY.I’M SICK OF THOSE PEOPLES.
64. ) NEVER STEAL. THE GOVERNMENT HATES COMPETITION.
65. ) Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids… … …Eat them!
66. ) If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
67. ) DON’T KNOCK ON DEATH’S DOOR. HIT THE DOORBELL AND RUN. HE HATES THAT.
68. ) DO YOU EVER JUST LIE ON KNEES AND THANK GOD THAT YOU KNOW ME AND MY INTELLIGENCE???
69. ) It takes two to lie… One to lie and one to listen…
70. ) DO NOT TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY. YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF IT ALIVE.
71. ) WHY DO STORES THAT ARE OPEN 24/7 HAVE LOCKS ON THEIR DOORS?
72. ) I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY ?
73. ) HMMMM…..DON’T COPY MY STATUS.
74. ) ALL GUYS HATE THE WORDS DON’T AND STOP UNLESS THEY’RE PUT TOGETHER.
75. ) Love is like fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit.
76. ) WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK.
77. ) I WISH MY BOOK OF LIFE WAS WRITTEN IN PENCIL … THERE ARE A FEW PAGES I WOULD LIKE TO ERASE.
78. ) Dear men, life without women would literally a pain in ass.
79. ) DO YOU EVER JUST LIE ON KNEES AND THANK GOD THAT YOU KNOW ME AND MY INTELLIGENCE???
80. ) LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND. THIS IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL THEY SPEAK.
81. ) BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN IS A WOMAN ROLLING HER EYES.
82. ) Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong. …
83. ) Avoid arguments about the toilet seat…use the sink…
84. ) mind…..ME:Never Mind.
85. ) LIFE IS LIKE A HOT BATH. IT FEELS GOOD WHILE YOU’RE IN IT, BUT THE LONGER YOU STAY IN, THE MORE WRINKLED YOU GET. ];
86. ) A LIE IS JUST A GREAT STORY RUINED BY TRUTH.
87. ) IF YOU’RE TOO OPEN-MINDED; YOUR BRAINS WILL FALL OUT.
88. ) Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…
89. ) I STILL MISS MY EX – BUT GUESS WHAT? MY AIM IS GETTING BETTER ??
90. ) LIFE IS SHORT…SMILE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE TEETH.
91. ) I STILL MISS MY EX – BUT GUESS WHAT? MY AIM IS GETTING BETTER ??
92. ) ALL GUYS HATE THE WORDS DON’T AND STOP UNLESS THEY’RE PUT TOGETHER.
93. ) I HAVE HAD A PERFECTLY WONDERFUL EVENING, BUT THIS WASN’T IT.
94. ) LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND. THIS IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL THEY SPEAK.
95. ) A BOOK-STORE IS ONLY PIECES OF EVIDENCE WE HAVE THAT PEOPLE ARE STILL THINKING.
96. ) Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
97. ) If procrastination was an Olympic event ,I’d compete in it later.
98. ) My laziness is like 8, when I lie down it becomes infinity
99. ) A WOMEN SAYING “I’M NOT MAD AT YOU” IS LIKE A DENTIST SAYING “YOU WON’T FEEL A THING”.
100. ) People have become very naughty on whatsapp.. Even married women have put their status as AVAILABLE.
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101. ) IF YOU COULD KICK THE PERSON IN THE PANTS RESPONSIBLE FOR MOST OF YOUR TROUBLE, YOU WOULDN’T SIT FOR A MONTH.
102. ) THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT THE AMERICAN DREAM, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE ASLEEP TO BELIEVE IT.
103. ) WHEN YOU CAN’T MARRY THE ONE YOU LOVE, :'( MARRY THE ONE WHO IS RICH !! ??
104. ) IF A BOOK ABOUT FAILURES DOESN’T SELL, IS IT A SUCCESS?
105. ) I just need a good Wifi and Wife.
106. ) WE LIVE IN THE ERA OF SMART PEOPLE AND STUPID PEOPLE.
107. ) If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
108. ) don’t regret doing things, regret getting caught
109. ) DOESN’T EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED MAKE THE UNEXPECTED EXPECTED?
110. ) I’M JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE UNIVERSE.
111. ) A BLACK CAT PASSING BY THE CROSSROAD CAN STOP HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHAT A RED LIGHT ON TRAFFIC SIGNAL HAS FAILED TO DO FOR LONG TIME!!
112. ) WE MEN WANT THE SAME THING FROM WOMEN THAT WE WANT FROM UNDERWEAR.SOME SUPPORT AND SOME FREEDOM.
113. ) A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
114. ) I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I LOVE ANIMALS; I AM A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I HATE PLANTS.
115. ) WARNING!! I KNOW BOXING …..AND SOME OTHER WORDS!!!
116. ) I am not lazy! I am just at my energy saving mode.
117. ) AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY, BUT IF THE DOCTOR IS CUTE FORGET THE FRUIT.
118. ) Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. – Dilbert
119. ) I will marry to a girl who look pretty in her voter id card.
120. ) LIFE IS SHORT – EAT FAST!
121. ) Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
122. ) Hakuna Matata!!–the great motto to live life!!
123. ) Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them…
124. ) It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miracously we live.
125. ) WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED.
126. ) Good morning…let the stress begin
127. ) SOMETIMES THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED IS LESS TRAVELLED FOR A REASON.
128. ) I’m great in bed; I can sleep for days.
129. ) I WANT TO KILL THE HOTTEST PERSON ALIVE… BUT SUICIDE IS A CRIME!
130. ) We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
131. ) I DID NOT ATTEND HIS FUNERAL, BUT I SENT A NICE LETTER SAYING I APPROVED OF IT.
132. ) I’m Only Here For The Free Food
133. ) I didn t climb to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian…
134. ) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
135. ) AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY, BUT IF THE DOCTOR IS CUTE FORGET THE FRUIT.
136. ) DON’T GET A MAN(\WOMAN) ,GET A DOG …THEY ARE LOYAL AND THEY DIE SOONER.
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137. ) IT’S AMAZING THAT THE AMOUNT OF NEWS THAT HAPPENS IN THE WORLD EACH DAY FIT EXACTLY THE LENGTH OF NEWSPAPER.
138. ) Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
139. ) DON’T KNOCK ON DEATH’S DOOR. HIT THE DOORBELL AND RUN. HE HATES THAT.
140. ) Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
141. ) I’M JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE UNIVERSE.
142. ) IT IS EASIER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THAN IT IS TO ASK FOR PERMISSION.
143. ) DOING NOTHING IS VERY HARD THING TO DO…YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN TO FINISH.
144. ) As the joker said, if you are good at something why do it for free…
145. ) WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED.
146. ) You don’t have to like me….I am not a facebook status.
147. ) A relationship is made for two, but some bitches are bad in math.
148. ) THEY LOVE THEIR HAIR BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO LOVE SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING.
149. ) Don’t drink while driving – you will spill the beer.
150. ) A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
151. ) HEY,YOU ARE READING MY STATUS AGAIN??
152. ) I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
153. ) DON’T THINK OF YOURSELF AS AN UGLY PERSON, THINK OF YOURSELF AS A BEAUTIFUL MONKEY. IT ALWAYS GETS LAUGHS!
154. ) DON’T DRINK AND PARK – ACCIDENTS CAUSE PEOPLE.
155. ) I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
156. ) In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
157. ) DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE OR YOU MIGHT SPILL THE DRINK.
158. ) Suicide: Mans way of telling God – “You can’t fire me, I quit”.
159. ) EVERYBODY IS SO HAPPY….I HATE THAT.
160. ) If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can’t speak English…
161. ) Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?
162. ) I’m Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?
163. ) IF I’VE LEARNT ANYTHING FROM MAYANS THEN IT’S THAT ..NOT FINISHING A PROJECT IS NOT THE END OF WORLD.
164. ) A LIE IS JUST A GREAT STORY RUINED BY TRUTH.
165. ) Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
166. ) Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1-2.
167. ) I WANT TO KILL THE HOTTEST PERSON ALIVE… BUT SUICIDE IS A CRIME!
168. ) PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ARE A GREAT ANNOYANCE TO THOSE OF US WHO DO.
169. ) WHY ARE THEY CALLED APARTMENTS IF THEY ARE ALL STUCK TOGETHER?
170. ) I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff… and I want it (:
171. ) Always remember that you are absolutely unique… Just like everyone else…
172. ) Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.
173. ) HMMMM…..DON’T COPY MY STATUS.
174. ) “Price is what you pay. Value is what you get
175. ) SOMETIMES THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED IS LESS TRAVELLED FOR A REASON.
176. ) I MAY BE DRUNK, MISS, BUT IN THE MORNING I WILL BE SOBER AND YOU WILL STILL BE UGLY.
177. ) I wish I could loose weight as easy as I lose my pens,keys,smartphone,my temper and even my mind.
178. ) Don’t settle for good.Demand Great.
179. ) I WANT TO KILL THE HOTTEST PERSON ALIVE… BUT SUICIDE IS A CRIME!
180. ) AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY, BUT IF THE DOCTOR IS CUTE FORGET THE FRUIT.
181. ) Sleep till you’re hungry….Eat till you’re sleepy.
182. ) Weather forecast for tonight: dark
183. ) Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’
184. ) THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
185. ) A WORD TO THE WISE AIN’T NECESSARY, IT’S THE STUPID ONES WHO NEED ADVICE.
186. ) If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
187. ) A LIE GETS HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD BEFORE THE TRUTH HAS A CHANCE TO GET ITS PANTS ON.
188. ) You can love me, hate me or masturbate screaming my name, it’s the thought that count.
189. ) Think Im Sarcastic? Watch Me Pretend To Care!
190. ) If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
191. ) I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY ?
192. ) The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*
193. ) I HAD TO TAKE SICK DAY.I’M SICK OF THOSE PEOPLES.
194. ) SAVE PAPER, DON’T DO HOME WORK.
195. ) IF COMMON SENSE IS SO COMMON WHY IS THERE SO MANY PEOPLE WITH OUT IT??
196. ) There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian & Tuesday Saturday.
197. ) I have decided to leave my past behind me ,so i owe you money…..sorry but I’ve moved on.
198. ) MY MIND IS LIKE LIGHTING, ONE BRILLIANT FLASH, THEN ITS GONE…:(
199. ) My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.
200. ) WHY ARE THEY CALLED APARTMENTS IF THEY ARE ALL STUCK TOGETHER?
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